My Shitty Reality TV Show

I had a shower today.

Yes I know what some of you might be thinking… why the hell is that so important that you tell us about it in your blog?
But the ones who *really* know me should know why.
See I’m a dirty bastard who rarely ever has a shower/bath until dead species of rare animals seem to appear in my pubes and today they did.
Another reason was this new shower gel I bought today from Superdrug. As some of you might already know I’m very easily amused, and shower gels are one of the things which spark my interest.

Needless to say as soon as I got home, off went the clothes (stop touching yourself!… don’t stop!) and on went the shower gel.

As my hair got wet and extended to its full length I could not help but notice how long it’s gotten. I think I may cut it myself soon. Nothing major, just a little trim, I’m going for the tramp/pot noodle/I’m dirty and you want me behind the shed right NOW! look these days.
And oh yeah It’s working baby! I’ve never seen Mr Tootles write so fast during the physics lesson, he must be happy!

Also, I must address another issue that has bee bothering me lately. Apparently I’m a “funny guy” who only makes immature jokes. I mean yeah I guess I can be like that at times, but please don’t assume that that is all I can do… I’ll have you know I also specialise in mature sophisticated humour!
Take this classic “mature” joke of mine as an example:

*Knock knock*
“who’s there?”
“methane gas”
“methane gas who?”
*FART*

Abdul