I’ve been making the lahore-manchester journey on the plane for about 8 years now. And it’s amazing how nothing’s changed. I’ve been seeing the same characters just in the shape of different people.

1. 4-10 year old children wearing fucking suits!
Does not matter what weather it is! I just travelled to Manchester 2 days ago I felt hot in a fucking tshirt and shorts yet these poor children are made to dress up in 3 piece suits by mothers who want their kids to look their best when travelling abroad not realising they are not only making them uncomfortable but that they will probably hate their mothers for this when they are older. Which might be why I never seen kids older than about 10 wearing them. By that point they have realised how full of shit their parents are

2. Women Clad in Sona
They usually tend to be 30 and over and often are wearing shiny clothes to compliment their shiny jewellery. I’m really not sure if they just wear that much gold ALL the time or like the kids in suits they just want to look their best when going abroad. Maybe they are just making up for the obvious lack of education and personality by flashing their riches.

3. The newly weds
They are probably the most amusing for me :D. The guy usually always tends to be late twenties early 30s and it’s obvious he was born and bred in britain and usually hails from places like mirpur, jhelum, faisalabad or sheikhupura.
Hair usually short shaved at the sides. Wearing a typical masculine scene like boss.
The girl. Obviously born and bred in pakistan. Shy and nervous. This is not a love marriage. Often tends to be hijabed or at least has a dupatta on her head.

This is the classic british desi wedding. Guy probably owns a shop or works with his dad on it. Wastes away his life not studying… living off dads money partying sleeping around with chicks. Since dad is supporting him he eventually gives into the parents wish for a nice decent wife from back home. The guy likes the idea of deflowering a moral virgin from back home even though he’s just spent the last few years fucking anything that lets him put his dick in it and will probably continue doing this even after marriage.

4. The Toilet Guys
Overly happy to see you which always makes me feel uncomfortable. They come open the tap for you once you’re done peeing/shitting and are on the way to wash your hands. Once you are done washing they usually hand you tissue paper so you can wipe you’re hands clean. Then raise their hand with a smile on their face and a twinkly in their eyes expecting you to pay them for what they’ve just done for you. Me having a tiny bladder usually have to pee 3 times before I get on the plane and this is amongst the most horrible experiences at the airport.

5. The Cheerful Guy At The Entry To The Gate
For years without fail. There has always been a smiling man who checks your boarding pass before letting you on the plane and every time makes a lameass joke that I just cant help but give a pity smile at because I’m too nice.
This year I was wearing 3 quarter and shorts and the conversation went like this
“kahan ja rahay hain aap?”
“manchester”
“yeah aap nay nikkar pehni hui hai kay pant?”

*sigh* on the plus side of it all… There were no mangoes to embarrass me like there usually are

This entry was posted on Saturday, September 5th, 2009 at 7:28 pm and is filed under Stories from my life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.