Loading ...In the last post I discussed how the scummy brit pakis behave and sound like. Well that obviously led to the question. “What if they or their parents or their grandparents never came to the UK in the first place and instead continued to live in lalamusa or wherever the fuck they come from…”
Today I will be answering that very question. We will be looking at some classic paki reactions in response to what is going on around them.
So first let me introduce them to you.
Well, they have big thick moustaches. Their faces always have at least ONE big ass black mole. They are towelheads. They have a filthy mouth. They are hairy as fuck. No.. seriously VERY hairy. Guess they didnt evolve very well 
And love to act cocky and fight.
Ok with that out of the way lets get right down to it and look at some situations.
chaudries
“Chaudry” is basically an asshole with a lot of land under his name. He owns most of the land in a village and the village people work on his rice/wheat etc fields are mis treated and not paid all that well.
A chaudry might look something like this:
Notice the posture. They sound something like this:
don’t have flash? Here is the file
Who you looking at?!
Pakis love to eye each other up. It makes them feel like more of a man. I guess they just want to make up for their small penises.
don’t have flash? Here is the file
Translation: “Who you lookin at sister fucker”
The word “bhen chod” = sister fucker is one of the most widely used words in Pakistan.
Paki Taunt
This usually follows the “who you lookin at” part. There are literally hundreds of taunts in a paki mans arsenal. I only cover a couple.
don’t have flash? Here is the file
Translation: “You Anal worm”
A worm that lives inside your ass and feeds on your shit.
“Modern” Paki Taunt 2
Pakis take great pride in the few words of english that they can master. So a more stylish paki would not just swear in Urdu/Punjabi but also include some English words.
don’t have flash? Here is the file
I am going to kick your ass
After the “who you lookin at” and the taunt comes the “i am going to kick your ass”. Pakis love to fight. But something they love more than fighting… is films about fighting preferably kung fu movies.
A paki getting in his special kung fu stance:
He will then assure his opponent that he is going to kick their hairy paki butt:
don’t have flash? Here is the file
Translation: “I know ching chong. I am going to fuck you in the ass”
Buddha Time
Yep when the battle is lost and won pakis chill out.
don’t have flash? Here is the file
Translation: Today I am chilled out.
Bhangra
This dance is usually performed at wedding ceremonies. The men all get together and just breakout in bhangra. They usually have a long brightly coloured piece of cloth around their necks which they grab whilst doing the bhangra. I used my pj’s
don’t have flash? Here is the file
Translation: Do the bhangra mates
That wraps it up for now. I know this wasn’t very educational for my paki audience. They have all witnessed these scenes with their own eyes in the past. But I suppose it is always nice to see reminders of your culture and traditions and to know that even though one of their brothers (me) is no longer in pakiland he has not forgotten the lovely country 
how tall are you again?
[Reply]
Zh*
January 8th, 2006
i noticed tht ur mole keeps on changing lol .. nice one ,, yes paki men do all tht n more .. but nice to see u in action
[Reply]
faria
January 8th, 2006
Btw, again the question: what if ur parents read this and your dad ( prolly a chaudry ) comes up to u and starts slappin u now ?
[Reply]
Frankey
January 8th, 2006
also,only chaudrys dont act like tht.jutts do too:p
[Reply]
Zh*
January 8th, 2006
the pictures are funny
the voice files arnt :/
[Reply]
RAHEMA
January 8th, 2006
hhaha my dad isnt a chaudry. See i was talking about scummy pakis.
[Reply]
Abdul
January 8th, 2006
what exactly are jutts?
[Reply]
Abdul
January 8th, 2006
yes i wanted to include a mole on my face at all times.. but the photos are taken at different angles so i had to change it
[Reply]
Abdul
January 8th, 2006
5′9 :S
My lean figure and the kameez makes me look taller i guess
[Reply]
Abdul
January 8th, 2006
They arent supposed to be
Education isnt funny.
Anyhoo I think I have milked pakis enough for now. I will leave them alone. Time to move to bigger and better things.
[Reply]
Abdul
January 8th, 2006
hilarious.
i wouldn’t pay to see it though
[Reply]
arsalan
January 8th, 2006
hahah how about doing one on those guys with the green turbans? :$
[Reply]
Nabil
January 8th, 2006
yup. go on abdul. what happened to the funky sweet artwork?
And what about Captain Testiclees? We miss Captain Testiclees!
This article makes it too easy for me to diss people. its no fun. So instead, everyone who posted before me ROCKS.
Way to go people. keep up the good work.
Oh by the way, I have a job interview tomorrow. Wish me luck. Or don’t. Whatever. I’ll get that job without your help, and within a week i’ll be shakking it up with my hot Kiwi boss!
[Reply]
not abdul (seriously, not abul)
January 8th, 2006
yeah doodles will be back soon paul. I am going to lay off pakis for a bit.
Good luck
[Reply]
Abdul
January 9th, 2006
haha nah… laying off pakis for a bit
[Reply]
Abdul
January 9th, 2006
beats laying on them any day!
[Reply]
not abdul (seriously, not abul)
January 9th, 2006
hahaha. Your wit never fails to amuse me
I know a couple i wouldnt mind laying on 
[Reply]
Abdul
January 9th, 2006
me jutt two. me speak way that two. no wrong in it. please, no fun make off jutts. bad abdul.
[Reply]
MySchizoBuddy
January 9th, 2006
made bro dear see the video
heh
he was amused
went all ‘OIE HOEE CHA GAYA HEY BUNDAA ..HE LOOKS LIKE A BLOODY PUPPET yada yada’
good stuff..
[Reply]
Rahema
January 9th, 2006
want to see paki females abdul.
[Reply]
sanu
January 9th, 2006
hahaha you know i may just do that
I love acting like a fag.
[Reply]
Abdul
January 9th, 2006
for a minute there i thought u were a mac user (looking at ur desktop pic) but nup. u haven’t reached enlightenment yet.
[Reply]
MySchizoBuddy
January 10th, 2006
I guess not. Windows works just fine for me. Feel no need to switch to a mac.
macs are for cool kids. not me.
[Reply]
Abdul
January 10th, 2006
i agree with my humnaam friend.lets see your do pakistani females.and you lived in hyderabad. Do u remember anything of your sindhi friends?:P
[Reply]
Sanaa
January 10th, 2006
no I am afraid not. I was only 6 or something :S and was only there for a few months. Dont remember anything about hyderabad… except for the rabri of course
[Reply]
Abdul
January 10th, 2006
“I know ching chong.”
ROFL!!!
[Reply]
mush
January 10th, 2006
*sigh* i could teach you a thing or two abotu sindhis:D
[Reply]
Sanaa
January 10th, 2006
Pakis > Goray
[Reply]
ok
January 12th, 2006
No one is > than no one.
[Reply]
Abdul
January 12th, 2006
er. i digress.
me > everyone. yes. everyone.
and like ddf said somewhere else, you really do talk like a chick :S
start smoking or some shit man :p
[Reply]
asfand
January 12th, 2006
You haven’t met me in real life. I only sound girly on a phone/mic
tsk tsk you and ddf have like the biggest ego’s ever. Your poor future wives. I feel sorry for them.
[Reply]
Abdul
January 12th, 2006
shut up bitch and go make me a sandwich!
[Reply]
shahzad
January 12th, 2006
*yawn*
[Reply]
Abdul
January 12th, 2006
*dances to nach baliye*
[Reply]
Zh*
January 13th, 2006
LIES ALL LIES. MY ego will squash yours like a bug. I haven’t left my house in three days because my ego won’t fit through the door!
Its not ego when I AM better than everyone else.
[Reply]
LIES ALL LIES
January 13th, 2006
After you I meant paul. Of course. No one even comes close to you!
[Reply]
Abdul
January 13th, 2006
Oh man
this is shit funny.
[Reply]
Hira
January 13th, 2006
shit funny?
me think me jutt here. me talk stupid, not you. steal my lightning you. bad girl
[Reply]
MySchizoBuddy
January 14th, 2006
Maybe shes “taili” their supposed to be worse I think? :S
[Reply]
Abdul
January 14th, 2006
i’m a friggin’ idiot for not coming here earlier!!!!!!
my god, the voice clips are hilarious!!! you barely spoke in urdu or punjabi here in london, goddamn dude, i couldn’t breathe listening to them!!!!
noice! =)
[Reply]
Mani
January 16th, 2006
Yes. you SHOULD have come here earlier!!
haha next time then. I should be making another trip to london in march.
[Reply]
Abdul
January 16th, 2006
[...] 11.I am Butt… Malik Butt… from Chicha Watni [...]
And all the bunny’s took to the streets and rejoiced… &nbsp– My Shitty Reality TV Show
January 30th, 2006
hahahaha.. u foking nutcase
[Reply]
Kash
March 1st, 2006
[Reply]
Abdul
March 1st, 2006
[...] This guy puts my paindu paki guy from village impersonation to shame! [...]
Jihan Mubarak From Toba Tek Singh&nbsp– My Shitty Reality TV Show
March 5th, 2006
nice compilation,
why i havent got that idea of porki’s… perhaps we see a lot of such assholes in india…
LOL, hey but u forget mullah beard
[Reply]
perfektm
March 8th, 2006
haha nah… village “chaudries” rarely have a heard… just a big fucking moustache
[Reply]
Abdul
March 25th, 2006
Bruv.. U’r Sucha Bastard.. I swear
Go Fuck Urself Ya Fuckin Confused Paki.. Err I guess
Nice description of yer family thou… Wanker
[Reply]
Aly
March 28th, 2006
“bruv”… hahaha
Thanks man. Yeah my family pwns.
[Reply]
Abdul
March 28th, 2006
ASALAM O ALIKUM what the hell u r saying here shame on u u r paki as well and inspite of doing and telling good acts deeds promoting culture u r promoting negative aspects if u r saying paki pplz specially jutts like this than sorry to say u r also paki so its a big example that paki don have there land thay just………… i hope u’ll understand mr butt .ALawys think positive for ur self for ur motherland but u pplz are not loyal with ur mother shame on u ALLAH HAFIZ
[Reply]
dr
April 7th, 2006
asalam go to hell allllllll
[Reply]
ammy
April 7th, 2006
haha your voice cracks me up
[Reply]
boomchuck
February 26th, 2007