Loading ...I wrote this quite a while back now. Just my way of ranting about certain aspects of certain religions and society in general that were bugging me.
I am back from my treacherous journey through the underpasses of mount Zichnavia. I made the journey to look for the one they call cheese-man. This is no ordinary man, he is the father of all that is wise in this temporary human abode where we lie cheat and steal.
I finally met with him after battling countless battalions of old grannies with saggy tits. I went there to ask him just one question… How should I lead my life?
Cheeseman kept silent for a while, he appeared to be pondering hard to find the answer to my question and trying desperately to get that fart out.
He finally spoke and imparted on me words of great wisdom. With that I bid him farewell.
The little money I had, I used to build a small place of worship-cum-educational institute known as…. Madrasatul ginate noor-ul- samawati al arzi rafiq-e-baqsh. This is no ordinary school/worship place my brainless children.
At this place: You will NOT be raped by ugly fat men, bearded or otherwise.
You will NOT be subjected to brainwashing and made to believe that your race is the only race worthy of going to uncle sugarball’s candyland.
You will NOT be made to recite pointless hymns, cheeseman does not like people gathering in a room and sucking his hairy testicles.
The money you donate WILL go towards charity and will NOT be used to buy 12 year old virgin prostitutes for me to ravage.
You will NOT be made to sit around listening to boring sermons about things no one could give a toss about.
You can fuck everything and anything as long as you love it and it loves you.
You will NOT be made to listen to made up stories about your god, cheeseman, and all his children. I will teach you what REALLY happened.
All sins you commit will be YOUR OWN cheeseman will NOT sacrifice anyone for YOUR sins.
You will be provided with a TV but you will NOT be able to watch MTV as MTV is the devil. It rots your brain and takes away from you, slowly, the ability to think for yourself. It makes you believe whatever you see on it is COOL and nothing can be COOL if it’s not on MTV.
You will have the freedom to eat what you choose, and trivial things such as whether the butcher jacked off before cutting the meat… whether he sprinkled the goat with Marry Poppins magic pubic hair will NOT matter.
You can drink whatever you wish as long as you drink in moderation, share and aren’t too greedy, and as long as it doesn’t make you indulge in sinful acts, such as sexual harassment, as a side effect. Any pupil found intoxicated and commiting such acts as a result, will not only be expelled but also made to perform oral sex on Margaret Thatcher’s hairy arsehole. As if that isnt worse enough… she would also have been fed mexican food and 14034 laxative pills beforehand.
So please, watch how much you drink.
My children these are but the basic rules laid down in the book of cheesiness.
I hope to see you attending Madrasatul ginate noor-ul-samawati al arzi rafiq-e-baqsh soon.
Yours Truly
Father Rapafrog
religon, society, islam, christianity, madrassa
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